Small Calamities

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Your Calamities

Somebody Told Me
January 5, 2007 | permalink

To live in a big city like New York, you have to become a practitioner of the fine art of Not Noticing if you want to keep your sanity. There is just too much of everything to pay attention to all of it all the time; too many people, too much dirt, too much despair, too much waste, too much wealth, too much noise. Seeing it all, all the time, would drive you mad, and make New York unlivable. That's why tourists and newcomers have that wide-eyed look of dazed confusion and wonder on their faces all the time- they're not just amazed, they are over-stimulated (while there haven't been any studies on the subject, I think if you hooked them up to an MRI you would find evidence of brain-damage, little seizures or the like running through their gray matter).

Eventually, though, you learn to pay attention only to the things that are directly impacting you at that moment. A New Yorker can completely miss a fire engine roaring down the avenue while they manage to sidestep a pile of dogshit that they can't even see because their arms are full of groceries. And this kind of tunnel vision doesn't just benefit the individual and protect their brain from leaking out of their ears; everyone's collective tunnel vision combines, and along with the inherent anonymity of living among so many other people becomes a kind of buffer. It's what lets us pretend that we have some privacy and go about our lives in a normal fashion. It's why we can walk around our apartments undressed without worrying that our neighbors are watching through the windows, or have intensely personal conversations while walking down a crowded street, or relax and read the paper during rush hour.

Now, all that said, if you do pay attention to what is going on around you (which I do try to do), you can see a lot of strange and funny things in this city, things that only happen because most people are Not Noticing. I saw something just this morning, while I was riding the subway to work, that really illustrates my point. I know that some of you will not believe me, Gentle Readers, but I swear it's true.

I was sitting on the train, alternating between reading the paper and people watching. It was one of the older trains, and I was sitting on one of the forward-facing benches. There was a couple in front of me, on one of the benches facing into the train. Well, she was on the bench, in the middle seat with strangers on either side; he was standing in front of her.

He shuffled closer. She leaned forward and put her forehead against him, just about where his belt buckle would be, her hands hooked into his pants pockets. He arranged his jacket (which was oversized and long) so that it hung open on either side of her face, obscuring her. They were like that for a long time.

Now, I can't say that I actually saw her performing oral sex on him in the middle of the rush hour train- as I say, she was pretty well hidden by the very careful arrangement of his coat. What wasn't hidden, however, was the expression on his face, and I can tell you for a fact that I have never enjoyed the morning commute as thoroughly as he was.

I looked around to see if anyone else seemed to see what was going on, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one. Everyone else seemed to me to be very busy Not Noticing what anyone else on the train was doing.

Posted in Around New York & Musings & Random
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