July 2007 Archives
Street Corner Ambassador
July 31, 2007 | permalink
Some days I just don't know what to write.
Sometimes, of course, I stare at the blank screen and just can't think of a single thing that I find interesting enough to write out even just for myself, let alone for you, Gentle Readers. It doesn't happen too terribly often, though- I have a really low fascination threshold (ooo, bright shiny thing!), and of course I do like expounding on my views and opinions on a wide variety of subjects, as you have no doubt noticed.
What happens more often is that I cannot narrow down what I want to say into any kind of cohesive or sensible narrative. I sit at the screen, positively bursting with things to say, and yet I cannot find the words to express any of them in a way that does any justice to the thoughts in my head. It's especially bad when I am feeling crappy and want to talk about why I feel that way.
Maybe it's because I am not clear, myself, on how to express some of my ideas. Or maybe I have too many things running through my mind at once, and I cannot focus enough on any one line of thought long enough to make it clear to anyone but me. I suppose if I knew the answer I wouldn't be here writing about how I can't write.
Isn't that a fun little paradox?
Posted in Blogging & Musings & Random(1) Comments
You Can Do Magic
July 26, 2007 | permalink
I went to a magic show the other night. The Waistcoat Man has been studying the art of prestidigitation (and getting quite good, I might add), and had a bunch of tickets to the last New York show of a friend of his, Maritess: The Queen of Magic. The only catch was that anyone he brought had to drink their bar minimum, so as not to cut into her take. Which was a trial, Gentle Readers, but I persevered and drank my drinks. I'm tough like that.
It was a good time. I hadn't seen The Waistcoat Man in quite a while, and it was great to spend some time with him. The Director and The Laughing Girl were there too, as well as a few of The Waistcoat Man's friends from another circle that I didn't know.
The show was also pretty good, though I was sitting at a bad angle and could see some of the workings of the tricks. Maritess' banter was quite funny, and her slight of hand was very well done. The Laughing Girl mad a comment at one point that made me laugh loud enough for Maritess to hear, and since I caught her attention of course she made me come up on stage for one of the 'And now I need a volunteer' bits of the show. I got to be the 'sender' of psychic vibrations to another volunteer. He was able to tell, with his eyes closed, where she touched me. Three times in a row, even. Pretty impressive stuff.
I used to do a bit of the old slight of hand myself, many many years ago, but I lost interest at some point. I'm not really sure why, now. Not that it really matters. About all I can remember how to do now is pull a coin from behind someone's ear.
Posted in Around New York & Social Life(1) Comments
The Layout of the Apartment
July 23, 2007 | permalink
I heard an NPR radio show the other day, and they were talking about morality. One of the things they talked about was the 'trolley test,' which goes like this:
A trolley is running out of control down a track. In its path are 5 people who will be run down. Fortunately, you can flip a switch which will lead the trolley down a different track to safety. Unfortunately, there is a single person who will be run down on that track. Should you flip the switch?
Most people think that the best course of action is to flip the switch under these circumstances; one person is killed, but five are saved. But check out this variation:
As before, a trolley is hurtling down a track towards five people. You are on a bridge under which it will pass, and you can stop it by dropping a weight onto the switch. The only thing on the bridge with you that you could push over the side is another person. So, the only way to stop the trolley is to push him over the bridge and onto the track, killing him to save five. Should you proceed?
Most people here say no, that they couldn't, even though the result is the same. Your actions would end one person's life but save five in both cases. So why is it different? What do you think it is that makes people act this way or that in a given situation? What is it in them that makes an act acceptable in one set of circumstances, while at another time the very same act is unthinkable?
I suppose I answer my own question there, don't I? It is the circumstances we find ourselves in that make something okay now and not then (or vice versa). Each moment, I think, brings it's own baseline that we must judge our possible actions against. In the examples above, the difference is in the perception of who is killing the unlucky sixth person- you or the train.
If it is true that each unique moment and set of circumstances serve as a base for us to make our decisions, it follows that there are no absolutes in our behavior, no absolute right answer. No one is always honest or always deceitful, no one is always generous or always selfish, and no one is always brave or always a coward. People may, by their upbringing or personality, be more disposed towards one thing or another, but the circumstances of the moment, and how we perceive them, play a big role in why we chose to do or think or say the things that we do, and how we feel about them later.
My Ex-Wife wanted everything to be black and white. She constantly held herself and others to impossible standards of behavior. And what's more, she was rarely able to separate how she felt about a person from how she felt about their actions. It was very hard for her to see the distinction, and to say, 'I like you, but not what you are doing right now.' It was all or nothing for her. Anyone who fell short (which was nearly everyone, eventually) was likely to be written off, and this caused her a lot of unhappiness and loneliness. To her credit, she was able to approach nearly everyone with an open and trusting attitude, at least at first. She believed in the black and white world, and wanted people to be worthy of her expectations.
I see the world a lot differently than she did. In the first place, as I am sure you know, I have a lot more trouble than that being open and trusting to people, especially at first. But the big difference is that I don't think you can divide the world up into black and white like that. To my mind, there are an infinite number of shades of grey, and everything must by necessity be judged in relation to other things, and not in a vacuum. I'm not saying this is any better, mind you; this is my opinion, and the way I see the world. I can see that not everyone can or will or wants to see things this way.
Which I think is simultaneously the big advantage and disadvantage to my way of thinking. When my Ex-Wife was in an argument, it was pretty much her way or the highway. She was sure was in the right, without question. It made her quite formidable. I, on the other hand, have no problem seeing things from another's point of view, for the most part; it makes me more compassionate, I think, but also less certain of the correctness of my own position*. If I am in an argument, a lot of the time I can see the other person's position so clearly that it makes it difficult for me to stay angry, or sometimes to even hold my ground. It's hard to sit in judgment on someone and truly believe that they should have done this or shouldn't have done that when you can imagine the circumstances that brought them to that particular junction.
I suppose that's why I will never make it as a fundamentalist preacher.
What do you think, Gentle Readers? Are there absolutes in the world? Or is it all shades of grey?
(6) Comments
tokyo subway clock
July 23, 2007 | permalink
Another reason why the Japanese will eventually rule the world: This clock has dials for the major Tokyo rail lines. The clock is updated wirelessly in real-time with the position of trains on each line, so you know exactly how long you have to catch your subway. Awesome.
Posted in Miniblog(0) Comments
E-Ticket Ride
July 19, 2007 | permalink
I am on vacation this week from my full time gig. I am terrible at vacationing.
Not only did I not go leave town due to a lack of funds for such an endeavor, I actually took other work, and have spent a great deal of my vacation, well, working. Which will generate some extra cash, and as such, is a good thing, but... well, I feel kind of lame about it anyway. My big excitement is that I defrosted my freezer.
Did I mention that I am terrible at vacationing?
Posted in Musings & The Home Front(1) Comments
Fixin' to Die
July 10, 2007 | permalink
I know this is kind of a tired and boring subject, but can I talk about the heat for a minute? Because, really, this is too much. I swear if it keeps up like this the temperature is going to send me into a psychotic break. No, really- I am just not built or equipped to handle temperatures this high, and the last couple of days I have been the very picture of misery.
There are a couple of things going on, I think, that combine to make me so miserable in the heat. In the first place, I am not exactly a waif (or even close), and as we all know from 8th Grade Biology, larger animals lose heat slower than smaller ones. Which might be okay, except for the second factor, which is that I generate a lot of heat.
I am one of those people who is always warm- it is rare that I think it is cold enough for more than a sweater or maybe a fleece vest and light jacket. I don't use more than one light blanket except on the very coldest nights of winter, and the windows in my apartment are open even in January. The body heat just pours off of me. I've been told I am better than an electric blanket, even.
The last thing that I think is a factor in my heat-induced misery are my scars. (This is conjecture on my part, but it makes sense to me, so bear with me a second.) We sweat to lose heat and cool down. I, however, lack sweat glands (and thus the ability to sweat and cool down) on a fairly large percentage of my surface area, and I think this helps to make me so unhappy in the warmer weather. I mean, what do you think it would feel like to you if 20 or 25% of your cooling system didn't work? Like the song says, I heat up, and I can't cool down. So, if we could just turn the sun down, that would be great.
Thanks ever so.
Posted in Current Events & Musings(2) Comments
the clock
July 10, 2007 | permalink
Oh, by the way... I did walk by again, and it turns out that the clock I mentioned is, in fact, broken; I really did just walk by and look up at the exact right time.
Posted in Miniblog(0) Comments
joshua
July 9, 2007 | permalink
Joshua (George Ratcliff, 2007) is the best and creepiest evil child movie I have seen in a long time. Jacob Kogan, who plays the title role, is emotionless and deadpan, and completely believable as a brilliant musical prodigy turned budding sociopath.
Posted in Miniblog(0) Comments
Working Man
July 6, 2007 | permalink
I have accepted Kelsi's open invitation to follow suit (here is her list, over at This Could Take a While) and share eight things that most people don't know about me. I tried to be really good about it, and not include anything that I have talked about at length in this forum or with my offline people. So, without further ado, here it is:
Eight Things (Most) People Don't Know About Me
- I took classes in Mandarin Chinese for a few years, and as a result I can communicate in Mandarin out loud and in writing at about the level of a retarded first-grader*. Which, while that sounds pretty lame, is actually really cool, and I wish I had kept up with it. My pronunciation was always atrocious (I never could master the inflections), but my calligraphy did receive praise. If I ever go to China and immerse myself, I may just communicate through notes and pretend to be mute, to avoid undue embarrassment.
- I have all my parts. I have never had any teeth removed, or my appendix, or my tonsils.
- My pinky toes both twist sort of upward and inward, and sit on top of my feet, instead of next to my other toes. More than one doctor has proposed making a couple of little cuts and lengthening the tendons, to make them lie 'correctly,' but I have always refused. I mean, as far as I am concerned, they are just fine the way they are.
- I was once arrested for Possession of Marijuana. No charges were filed, however, and I was released within a couple of hours.
- One quarter of the weddings that I have been to in my life have been my one or the other of my parents'. Seriously. Two were The Old Man's, and one was my Mother's. Trashy? Maybe. But that's just how we roll...
- I spent most of the fourth year of my life pretending to be Batman. And I was whole-heartedly committed to the endeavor- I had a costume and utility belt, and got into all kinds of mischief while I searched for evil-doers around the house.
- I don't fear anything except my own weakness. Unfortunately I see the list of my weaknesses as long and far-reaching, so that covers a lot of ground.
- I put on a decent show most of the time (at least, I think I do... I recognize that I might be deceiving myself on this point) at having my shit together, but mostly I despair that I will ever find peace in my mind and in my heart. I haven't conceded defeat yet, but I'm not as hopeful as I once was. This probably isn't really a revelation to you, Gentle Readers, but with the people I interact with offline I am not quite so open and forthcoming as I am here.
*Apologies to any Mandarin-speaking retarded first graders who may be reading. I don't mean to offend...
I'd pick eight of you to be 'it' and make a list of your own, but I am not sure that I have that many readers (ha ha ha ha). So I invite any and all of you to give it a go. Let me know if you do, I'd like to make sure to check it out...
Posted in Blogging & Random(3) Comments
you kill me
July 5, 2007 | permalink
I saw You Kill Me (John Dahl, 2007) yesterday, and I must recommend that you go see it. Ben Kingsley plays Frank Falenczyk, an alcoholic hit man for Buffalo's Polish mob who is sent to San Francisco to dry out after his drinking interferes with a major assassination. It's just as wrong as it sounds...
Posted in Miniblog(0) Comments
Fretless
July 5, 2007 | permalink
I'm reading Jules Verne's classic Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, and I have to tell you that I am finding it fascinating. Not in the way that you probably think, though.
I mean, yes; it's a masterwork of science fiction, and an adventure story of the highest caliber, and on those levels it is a great and worthy book. But I expected as much going in. While I have never read it before, I have seen (albeit many years ago) the movie adaptation, and I am familiar with the plot. What I didn't expect was this amazing cultural juxtaposition that I am seeing as I read it.
A lot of the plot, if you are unfamiliar with it, hinges on the technological marvel that Captain Nemo has created in his ship, The Nautilus, and its support devices: electric motors and lights, taser guns, and scuba gear, to name a few. Most of this technology was only theory and guesswork at the time the book was written, and completely foreign to the average reader. For example, there is a passage accurately describing the workings of an arc lamp- carbon points, separated by a small gap, sealed in a vacuum to prolong the life of the points and to enhance the brightness and steadiness of the light thus emitted- that pre-dates Edison's first successful light bulb by a decade. The workings of the submarine and scuba gear are described with a similar visionary accuracy.
To compensate for the probable lack in his readers' knowledge about such things (things that the modern reader is already familiar with, and therefore needs no explanations for), Verne worked clear and excellent explanations of the theories and methods involved in building and using these devices into the narrative. This allowed a much wider audience to enjoy the novel.
You with me so far? This is where it gets good.
The copy of the book I am reading is one of the Barnes and Noble Classics editions. I am sure you are familiar with them- they are cheap and designed for the student, with footnotes and endnotes, discussion questions, and a decent introduction to give the reader a solid context for the story. As such, all of the classical and historical references in the narrative, which all of Verne's audience would have grasped without question, are footnoted with an explanation for the modern reader, who is presumed to be ignorant of such things. It's really wild, to me, to see these two methods for filling in the presumed ignorance of two very different groups of readers used side by side at the same time.
I realize that this might be a boring story to you, Gentle Readers, and if it is, I apologize. But this is the kind of thing that really tickles the Bear's grey matter...
Posted in Musings & Random(2) Comments
(The Gala Event)
(The Gala Event)
(Soft Sell)
(Soft Sell)
(Black Bread (of the Sea))
(Black Bread (of the Sea))